When we attempt something bigger, higher, more noble than ourselves, there comes a time when it will require everything we’ve got. But what happens when we give it everything we’ve got ― and it’s not enough?
We call Mom.
Midnight Call
It was after midnight. I was a single father raising my son who was 10 years old. I had taken nine months out of my life to write my first novel. The publisher, Doubleday, had sent an advance check which had covered rent and essentials like Fritos, Coke and Captain Crunch. I finished the manuscript and sent it in just before the deadline.
Rejection
Soon after, I got a three page letter explaining that the manuscript was not publishable. I had created a nice story but had written it like a screenplay, not a novel. I had described everything in word pictures but had left it up to the reader to know what was going on inside my characters. This was a beginning writer’s mistake, and it was fatal. The editor said I had two weeks to rewrite the book or the contract would be null and void. He doubted that it could be done.
Mouth-to-Mouth
Well, this was my baby. Nine months in the womb, newly delivered ― stillborn. I began fixing the first chapter, determined to resuscitate my book. I knew my fictional characters. I knew what they thought and felt, and why. I began rewriting the drama from the inside. I polished that first chapter and knew I had hit the mark. But it had taken three days. There were twenty seven chapters to go and only eleven days before the axe fell. I did the math.
Losing It
I fell apart like a two dollar suitcase, crashing physically, mentally, and emotionally. I began shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. It had taken everything I had. My best was not enough. The failure was all mine.
Did I mention that it was after midnight? Yes? Well, it was. I was in Dallas. I called my Mom in Anchorage, Alaska, where it was just after 10 pm. I told her everything. The first thing she did was the thing I needed most. She sympathized. She didn’t say, “Grow up, you whiney brat.” She didn’t say, “I always knew that just when you were at the brink of success you would probably fall flat on your face.” She didn’t call me “a losing piece of buzzard bait” ― which is how I felt.
She said, “Honey, I am so sorry. I don’t understand why someone who has worked so hard should have it end this way. It doesn’t make sense.” And with those words I knew I was not alone.
Giving Up
But then, my Mom said the words that have changed my life: She said, “Here is what I think you should do, son. Go back to the table and pick up your manuscript, hold it up in the air and say, ‘God, this was never mine in the first place. I have done all I can do. Now I give it back to you.’ Then put it down and walk away from it. Go to bed, sleep like a baby, and tomorrow get out of that apartment and play. Have some fun. Let it go.”
End of the Death Grip
I did exactly as my Mom suggested. Exactly. And I felt the world shift beneath my feet. I learned that there is a great difference between giving up, and giving something back to God. In a deep and profound way, I began to understand that I own nothing in this life. It has all been given to me. I am a steward, and on my best days, I’m a good steward. Nothing more. Since that after-midnight phone call, I have learned to release my death grip on life, and hold everything and everyone more loosely.
Honor Thy Mother
This story should end here, honoring Mom for the incredible blessing that she is. But a number of my friends know that Doubleday published my first novel, and they must be wondering how that happened under the circumstances.
The Rest of the Story
My baby lay in the grave three days while I ran and played. On the third day my phone rang and it was Dr. Miriam Herin in Charlotte, North Carolina, a former editor for Redbook Magazine who had been an advisor to me for years. She had just finished reading the manuscript and a copy of the rejection letter. She said, “You can do this if you don’t have to think about it. Fly out here. I will go ahead of you through the manuscript and mark in pencil the places where you need to write the internal drama. You just follow behind me and write.” Fresh from three days of play, I caught the next plane. For sixteen hours I wrote, then fell asleep on her couch. I got up and wrote for another sixteen hours. Then slept again. In seven days we polished the novel that sold 40,000 hardbacks, earned two book club selections, and won the Texas Literary Festival Award for fiction.
Award Winning Mom
Thank you, Mom. There is a big difference between giving up, and giving something to God. God, who ― by the way ― knows how to raise the dead. Only you, Mom, could teach me that, and here in your 90th year of life, I’d like to present you with the Texas Literary Festival Award. You earned it. You deserve it.
To be continued…
Your mother is truly a remarkable WISE lady who has given us much advise through the years and we have been much better and made it through some very tough times because of her Godly advise.
What a beautiful and heart felt tribute to your mother, Stephen. We love Betty very much as we did your dad, Jack. We had the joy, a few years ago to stay with your folks and visit. We were blessed to feast upon their love and kindness and on Jack’s fine cooking. We are so glad we are cousins. Wish we could see Betty again and receive some of those warm hugs but time marches on and we don’t travel as much as we used too. Quite a few years back your folks were visiting us here in Utah and Betty gave us a copy of your book, “Riders of the Long Road”. We really enjoyed reading it. It means so much more now that we have read of your journey to be a published author. The Lord surely had his hand in it. Best wishes from your cousins from Utah, Jim and Gwen Penfield
It is wonderful to connect with family through a story like this. Thank you for your wonderful comments.
Dear Stephen,
God bless your wonderful, creative heart! I just started at Charis this last November 30th as a first year student, after having retired from forty plus years of critical care nursing. My daughter and I are roommates in Woodland Park and there has been so much healing in both of our lives.
Prior to coming to WPK, I was writing full time and thought I had the next great American novel. After enough rejection letters to paper one of my office walls, I rewrote it from romantic suspense into a Christian romance.
I changed one third of that novel and now have it sitting in Writer’s Edge, an offshoot management service of Harrison House. I have been published for two romances and would love to know if you have any advice? I would ultimately like to write a screenplay and have Andrew Wommack use it, ie “The War Room” style. I joined your mailing list and if you have any comments, you can feel free to email me.
I enjoyed meeting your mom. I had one like her so can appreciate how important it is to have a “cheerleader” in your corner!
God Bless you and keep up the good work!
Avis
I love this story, Stephen. How wonderful this great wisdom came from your mother. I’m still learning to “Let go and let God,” but I know it’s key to . . . everything. My heartfelt prayers for your health and happiness, and your mother’s, as well. Blessings my friend.
Thanks so much, Robert. I’m so blessed and honored that you could find value for your own life in this story.
Stephen, thank you for including me in this personal and inspiring journey! I needed to hear this, and once again your ability to tell a story is like none other! You are amazing and I thank God for you and that you never gave up! I too sing your Mother’s praises! She is someone worth listening to!!
Thanks, Daniel. My mom has been an unsung hero all these years. It is high time to sing her song!
Stephen, what a wonderful story! I have always been so proud of you. I tell your stories to friends and amaze them with the cleverness and creativity that God has given you. But now, to hear this part of the story; to see how this nearly ended in defeat; and then, with the wisdom of God, your dear mom spoke life to you and life to your dream. I love it! And God stirring the heart of your friend. What a friend she is! This is how God seems so pleased to work. Thank you for sharing this part of the story. I love it.
PS, you look a lot like your mom!
Dana, buddy. I miss you. You are the first to point out the resemblance between me and Mom. It’s definitely there. Stay the course with the vision God has placed in your heart.
Hey Stephen,
What an awesome tribute to your Mother! Thank you for sharing it and for reminding us how special our moms are. You have truly been an encouragement to us! Blessings to you and your family on Mother’s Day!! Jimmy and Jill Tomlinson
You bless me back when you can appreciate my Mom. I am honored by your comment.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS…I AM ENCOURAGED TO CONTINUE WRITING AND CONTINUE THE AWESOME PRIVILEGE OF MOTHERHOOD!
Your comment is what it is all about for me, Tennie. Thanks.
Thanks, Steven. What a wonderful woman your mother must be, and what godly advice she gave you– a true “Word of Wisdom”. Thank you for sharing both with us. Think I’ll drop stuff and go play….
Thank you for sharing this story, Stephen. I sensed the ‘mother love’ and wisdom from God in your mother’s comment. Thank God for a Godly Mom who would encourage instead of criticize in a difficult moment!! It also really blesses me to see a son honor his mother like this. Very special.
Stephen,
Thanks for sending me this tribute to your Mom. We often forget how much others are responsible for our success. It’s wonderful that you acknowledge her while she is still here to hear it. Praise God for your godly parents. I’ve reaped great benefit from what they instilled in you.
Good job brother! You have a great way with words. Proud to share our mom.
This was awesome, Stephen! I loved your mom’s advice because it shows just how much she KNOWS you. What you needed, what makes you tick, what would recharge your batteries. What a wonderful tribute….and also a reminder that mothering adult kids is still important!
Like my Mom, you will continue to be in demand as a source of wisdom for many. Me included!
Thanks for sharing Stephen, what a wonderful story to help us remember that mother’s are a gift from God. I’m sure that we all can think about big moments when mom’s love and wisdom made a way for us.
A mutual salute to our Moms! “The one who knew you before you knew who you were, and the one who continues to remind you who you will always be…
Richest Blessings Brother!
Stephen, Not every mother is a woman of honor, as so often portrayed at services throughout our land. For the rare few of us to get a glimpse into the background of your history and writing; and subsequently, your mother, i believe it is fitting to bless your mom with this appropriate tribute. I’m sure there are many such moments to remember, as there are with my mom (91 years old) but in a simple reply to the posting, Mrs. Bransford is a woman of honor, aptly recognized..
Thanks, my elk slayer buddy!
Thanks. Being a mom can sometimes be a thankless job but that’s when you give the kids to God and know He makes all things beautiful in His time. Thanks for honoring your mom publicly.
Best advice ever!! I really enjoyed reading this. Your mom is awesome!! That’s sweet to give her well deserved recognition. We try to control everything in our lives and then find ourselves in these situations but God is so good that when we ask and recognize we can’t without him he helps get us back on track. I’m a first year student at Charis and had your class today, so part of my war dance was reading this 🙂 Now I must get back to writing, and let go of all the things I’ve held on to in fear of failure or exposure. It’s much easier to be vulnerable and real than reserved anyway. Thanks for this, and class!
So glad this was encouraging for
you, Julissa. Be blessed.
Your Mom’s advice is great advice to us all. I’m enjoying reading your blog. Thank you for your transparency during those raw times in your life that we can learn from!
Blessings!